Everything is slowly creeping upon me. Suddenly I'm a senior pressured to do exception on the ACT to get great scholarships to go to OBU. The pressure of picking a college, getting financial aid for the college cuz it is so dang expensive is frustrating. I have to fill out application after application of things I don't even know what are anymore. The Pressure to succeed is amazingly high, the tensions of not meeting expectations of others are crazy. I have so many things to do and no time to do them in. I feel like I'm closed in and wonder where my childhood went. Then I remember I have never had one. Organization is key to my life. I have a planner where I write everything down and without it I would be horribly lost. I never had that childhood most do, in fact I didn't really have one. My homebound teacher taught me organization and planning. My Physical Therapist and Doctors talked to me like an adult...so I respond like one..on most occasions. I don't think like most teenagers do. So I feel out of place in school. I'm ready to get out, to leave to be surrounded by new and interesting people and things.

Someone made a comment to me today and he said..just take your planner and lock it away for a week and see how much fun you have....I responded with but then I wouldn't remember to do the stuff I had to...he then said if it was that important you would remember. That is so true when looking to God. He is the only thing that is truly important. Right now I schedule in my time with Him..but He is more important than just a 30 min. period of time I schedule to be with Him. I should be meditating on His word, reading his word, practicing his word..then I have spent my day wisely. Who cares if I made that phone call, or went to the bank, picked up my dry cleaning...did I spend time continuously through the day with him..or just that 30 minute period of time. Did I listen when He told me to do something..did I go talk to that little girl or boy sitting alone..did I help someone in their time of need or did I just tell God oh I can do that later. Guys there might not be a later...we get so caught up in these earthly lives we forget about our spiritual lives...the life that really matters!

Well i have just gotten back from being a counselor at Centri-Kid. It was amazing, I have gotten to know those girls alot better than i already did, and i wasa ab;e to get to know some for the first time. Those girls are amzing...crazy and just full of life. They have changed me in away that i don't want to lose..these girls a wonderful creations from God. Each of them different, each of them funny, each of them loving, caring, and of course crazy.

This past week God has called me to get more involved in their lives and the kids their age. I don't think i will ever forget this week, and i'm excited about doing it all over next year.

Be praying for my sister while she is in Japan...she will be getting back on the 13th of August.

Also Be praying for me as I start my new Job this week.

Remember when you were little and (girls) you use to dress up and wait for your prince charming to rescue you, or (boys) you would dress up and go on an adventure, like 007 or Indiana Jones. Well I have been reading this book that reminded me of all that. It is still true today I want that prince charming to come and rescue me..to fight for me, want me...to bring me into that adventure. I want the one perfect guy to sweep me off my feet.

A lady said today...girls he treats me like a queen, you deserve that too, you deserve to be treated like a queen and Never settle for anything less.

One thing, I know God will give this to me in time, and if I stop chasing this dream of mine He will give it to me. He will make it happen and it will be a million times better than what I could have ever imagined it to be.

I also realized that I have to be so close to God that my guy has to chase after Him to find me! I need to be close to God before I can ever benefit anyone else.

Yes I want to be chased after, pursued, loved.....but God always loves me and if I pursue Him..only then can I be pursued. Don't get me wrong..I love to go on dates...get to know someone new...I love having that crush on someone...and all the little joys that come with it, but when I date do I always honor God? It is a question we all need to ask ourselves. Do I honor His word while I'm out with this person. We need to set standards to His word and not our world.

Our world would say that sex was ok out of wedlock...our world would say that just giving a little was ok, but was does God say? Sex is only for in the confines of marriage, when we give a little here or there, that is only meant for marriage. Don't be blinded by the worlds views...be opened up to God's views, His ideals...His word!

Yes we mess up we are human...that is what we do...we make mistakes and learn from them. We have God's Word to outline our life, and we try to abide by it, but we aren't perfect and we do mess up, but what is so wonderful about God is that He forgives us no matter what we do. He opens His arms wide and hugs us and loves us unconditionally. Just like a father..He is our heavenly father.

Just think about this a little..tell me what you think...your views.

PURPLE SCHOOL ALL THE WAY BABY!!!!!!

I have been counseling a camp this week at my church. Today was probably the best day.....today after we had music, bible, crafts, and snacks, we headed to burns park for a picnic and then a snow cone. In the van on the way one of my little boys in my group turned to me and said "Miss Beth" "Yes Trevor" "You're pretty"......I just melted...he was so cute...I just couldn't stop smiling...it was the sweetest thing I have ever heard! It made my day....I love those kids...it is gonna be sad tomorrow....cuz I won't get to see them again.....*tear*. Goodness those kids just let you see so much about life, like what is really important. I really love working with them...I can act crazy and actually have a reason for it...lol. Like Monday we were skating..but since i'm so accident prone I decided I wouldn't skate and just help them...and I told them I had skates on...they were so cute...'no you don't" "you're crazy...those are just tennis shoes"...aww I love them to death! I'm so Happy I got to have this experience with these wonderfully made kids! God has opened my eyes so much today!

I might get to go with the 4th-6th grade kids to Centrikid and chaperone them...pray for me in this...this is something I would love to do!

Well I'm out for now!